The Christmas Dinner Invasion: A Not-So-True Story

It’s Thursday and the fourth day in our week-long festive celebrations! Today, I have a story to tell you all. A story which I have to stress is 100% totally true. It’s about the time I was sat down to Christmas Dinner on my own (solely for the purpose of giving me less characters to juggle). The turkey was bronze, the carrots were orange and the stuffing was… well, that mouldy-brown colour. Everything was great. Then a rift in space and time opened up before my disbelieving eyes (stay with me here). What follows is my account of that evening, retold in the (sort of) form of a play. And remember, this absolutely, positively DIDnotHAPPEN.

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FADE IN

JAMES is sitting down to Christmas Dinner on his own (boy, what a loser!) It is dark. The scene is illuminated only by candlelight.

JAMES: Wow, I sure do love the peace and quiet of a Christmas Day spent alone.

A stifled sob is heard. Suddenly, an inter-dimensional rift appears and fills the room with a thick fog.

JAMES: Egad! Continue reading

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